Thursday, March 8, 2012

Second Campaigner Challenge

This is the second challenge for the Platform Campaigners Challenge. I have to say this one was a challenge. If you want to find out more about the campaigners challenge head over to Rachael Harrie's blog. Here's the challenge:

Prompt 1:
Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

Prompt 2:

(Source)
Prompt 3
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Prompt 4
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Prompt 5
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Second Campaigner Challenge

Do one or more of the following:
  1. Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts (less than 100 words)-done
  2. Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts-done
  3. Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words)-done
  4. Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts
  5. Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.

                          ***********************************
My Entries
     1. Pitch for "The Ones"

      The day that The Ones show up at the labor mines is the last day that’s normal for Anna and Jake. Now on the run, they must find the boy in red before The Ones find them. However, when they find out the reason why The Ones are really after Anna, and Jake's true identity, they may just wish they’d died at the mines with everyone else. Unfortunately, there’s no one else who can save them and the rest of the humans.

     2. Flash Fiction "The Ones"

                Slowly the blackness that clouded my mind receded and awareness took its place. Blinking, I glanced around taking stock of my surroundings. Jake and I were huddled together under what looked like some sort of old rusted bridge.
                “Thank God, you’re awake. How’s your head feeling?” Jake asked.
                Reaching my hand up to my wet hair, I gingerly touch the large bump that had formed on my head. “I have a little headache, but I’m okay. How did we get here?”
                “You mean you don’t remember?” he stared at me with concern. Unable to keep his gaze, my eyes dropped down, noticing for the first time a large gash on his right leg. “Concentrate Anna, I need you to remember.”
                “I remember working in the labor mines… then beautiful lights were everywhere,” I struggled to remember, and gasped. “The Ones came didn’t they?”
                “Just like they said they would, in a water vessel. The lights came first and then out of nowhere the water drop appeared and out they came,” Jake whispered.
                “We have to find the boy in red,” I state stoically. “Before they find me.”


    3. Poem

    Overwhelming are the lights,
    it makes me long for dark of nights.
    Swirls of colors, different hues,
    crimson, amber, whites and blues.
    Water comes then, formed as tears,
    to bring forth your worst of fears.
                A disease designed to rot your brain,
                it’s twisted shape like a hurricane.
                Out it spews The Ones that come,
                the evil spreads and devours some.
                Your only hope, if they should choose,
                for both these two have nothing to loose.
                To find the boy in red,
                  and save us all before we’re dead.


    I hope you enjoyed my second ever flash fiction piece and my poem. Feel free to critique it in the comments, just please be nice. I appreciate all the advice.

    Also if you liked it, you can "like it" HERE, I'm #79.

    47 comments:

    amymarie54891 said...

    Good job! I especially liked your flash fiction entry!
    -The Literary Mom # 64

    Morgan said...

    "Like" "Like" "Like" !!!

    This was fabulous. Man, I'm not sure what was the best. Way to tackle so many challenges. I *really* loved the poem. It was very lyrical, flowed well, and some lovely use of words. :D

    Elise Fallson said...

    Amazing! Loved your poem and flash fiction the most, had me hooked all the way and left me wanting more! "Like!"

    Liza said...

    The water drop as a transportation piece was fantastic! I really liked your poem too!

    Krista McLaughlin said...

    Wow, very interesting! The Ones... sounds very ominous. Great job on the prompts!

    Jennifer said...

    Great tease with the flash fiction piece! So hard to get to a beginning, middle, end with flash fiction but I think you did a good job of setting a scene and enticing the reader! Good luck this challenge.

    I'm #84, I think.

    Komal said...

    Congratulations! You have bee shortlisted to move onto stage two.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thanks!

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you. It was hard to put it all in there. I wasn't sure if it will feel rushed or not.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you.

    JRuud said...

    Wow, this is beautifully done. You are talented; love the blog!

    Gwen said...

    Your pitch sounds like a wonderful story, and your flash fiction is a great beginning!

    #38

    Brooke R. Busse said...

    I especially like the poem. It just flows so well. I could see myself reciting it somewhere...

    Laurie Dennison said...

    Great job! You really have me wanting to read more. I like the word choice "The Ones."

    Sarah Pearson said...

    Congratulations on moving on, you thoroughly deserved it - I'd read this book in an instant :-)

    Kelly said...

    Great job on a really tough prompt!

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you.

    mish said...

    Both the flash fiction and the poem were lovely!

    RaeAnn said...

    That. Was. Amazing.

    Melissa said...

    All of them were nice. For me, I think it's a tie between your flash fiction and your poem. Good job!
    Melissa Maygrove #14

    Lady Gwen said...

    Wow, all three were really good. I especially want to know about the boy in red and why he's so important! Also, you've been tagged in the Lucky 7 Meme over at my blog - check it out at http://rungwenrun.blogspot.com

    The Golden Eagle said...

    Very intriguing pieces; I wonder what the significance is of the boy in red.

    I love the poem!

    C.M.Brown said...

    I just loved the poem, but enjoyed the Flash Fiction too! Voting now! Well done!

    Medeia Sharif said...

    They were all great. I especially loved the poem. I put in my vote. :)

    Caitlin said...

    Especially loved reading your poem! There aren't as many poems in the campaign as flash fiction and prompts, so it's always nice to see them. The ending struck very hard, loved it!

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Wow, thanks.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you. It was the first poem I wrote since middle school.

    cbwentworth said...

    While the flash fiction was good, I thought the poem was phenomenal. Beautiful rhythm and word choice. :-)

    Elise Fallson said...

    Hi Jessica, I'm stopping by again to let you know you've been tagged for the Lucky 7 Meme! (:

    elisefallson.blogspot.com for more info.

    Margo Kelly said...

    I tagged you on my blog today! :)

    Kathleen said...

    Congratulations! You've been shortlisted to the semi-finals=)

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Wow, thank you very much.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thanks!

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thanks!

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Wow! Thank you! *Happy dance*

    Nick Wilford said...

    Very intriguing stuff. I loved your use of the prompts, particularly the two more "abstract" pictures - using the water pear as a spaceship was a masterstroke. I want them to find the boy in red and find out how he can save them! Hope you decide to take this further.

    Jocelyn Rish said...

    The poem had a very smooth rhythm and rhyme - great job! And I'm very intrigued by The Ones....

    Siv Maria said...

    It has all been said above, fantastic job and definately giving you a thumbs up :)

    Rachel Morgan said...

    I love seeing how people used the water pear. This is pretty interesting, with The Ones coming out of it!

    Treelight said...

    I would love to find out more about the Ones, and I think you put quite a lot of content into those few words we were allowed to use.

    In the manner of critique, I have only small things to offer:
    The poem would be easier to read if there was a visible break somewhere. And I wondered if you meant "its" instead of "it's" in the hurricane-line. After all, poems are entitled to use weird grammar, aren't they? :)
    I also kept wondering which genre this might be. Of course, you had only few words at your disposal - but right now it could be anything from SciFi to Fantasy or perhaps even something else.

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thanks you and thank you very much for the suggestions. I haven't written a poem in a long time, so I was unsure of how to structure it. To be honest I wasn't even thinking genre when I wrote it, I just wrote it. :)

    Cortney Pearson said...

    That's a great pitch! Interesting what you can do with a few pictures!! Nice work, and new follower here! :D

    Jennifer Fischetto said...

    The picture of the water pear has resulted in some interesting writing. I like your concept. :)

    Jessica Salyer said...

    Thank you. :)