Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge

Today is our first campaign challenge. The challenge is to....
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.


If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write  
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
Here's my entry, at exactly 200 words...


 Shadows crept across the wall as night overtook day. Inside the cramped cabin, the five mangy occupants raced around the room. Shutters slid across the windows, locking shut. Weapons came out from their hiding places. The fire was extinguished with a hiss. Heartbeats increased along with fear. Could they make it another night? Night was dangerous. It was when They came out.


“Hurry, we don’t have a lot of time,” instructed the orange-haired man, named Serge. He was the oldest of the group at twenty-four and the most knowledgeable.


“Shouldn’t Cody be back by now?” whispered Sarah. She held a gun, almost as big as her, in her arms. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide with fear. Her black hair was matted to her head.


Everyone took their posts. Serge was facing the door. Sarah was next to the door, facing the window. Jack was behind Serge protecting his back. The two little kids were huddled under the bed.


“I hear something,” hissed Sarah. “Cody!” she yelled as she wrenched the door open. It wasn’t Cody, it was Them. One of them slammed into her knocking her to the floor. Her head ricocheted off the dirt ground and everything faded.




If you enjoyed my story, you can give it a thumbs up here. I'm number 49.




57 comments:

Jess said...

Whoa that was really intense!! Great job!! I really want to know who 'They' are! And it's cool because in my WiP my MC is named Cody :)
You have my vote!

Melanie Stanford said...

Ooh scary- are these zombies they're about to fight?

David P. King said...

Someone is lunch. Glad that I'm not the only zombie story in this campaign (that's what it is, right?). Nice one! :)

Morgan said...

I like your writing. It flows nice--easy to get in the moment and "be there." Nice work! Also, I'm a new follower... so glad to be connected! :D

Jessica Salyer said...

I'll never tell. ;)

Jessica Salyer said...

Have to stick with to my reply to Melanie. :) Thanks!

Brenna Braaten said...

Hey there! New campaigner here finally making the rounds.

I really liked your writing. It kept it simple and to the point without overwriting, which I think a lot of writers (including myself) would be tempted to do. Nice job.

DL Hammons said...

I thumbed you! Very nice piece. It would have made an excellent WRiTE CLUB submission! :)

Carrie Butler said...

Whoever "They" are, I hope they never find me! ;) Great work!

Krista M said...

Sounds scary, but great at the same time!! :) Great job!

Lady Gwen said...

They're scary! Nice job:)

S.P. Bowers said...

Nice! It was interesting and had good movement. Well done.

Rossandra said...

Scary. Well done!

JEFritz said...

Uh-oh! I wonder what "Them" are. Besides bad news, of course.

Melissa Bradley said...

Whoa! I definitely want to read more of this one. It's so exciting and had me hooked from the first sentence.

Ann Cory said...

Cripes - this should've come with a warning or something - whew! Suspense and I'm dying to know about THEM! :) Well done :)

J.C. Martin said...

Great suspense! Wonder what They are?

Hope you won't mind my making one small suggestion? This would be more effective if you cut out the majority of "was/were" passive sentences.

Kevin Hiatt said...

Great suspense build-up. Everybody else wonders about the 'Them'.. but I'm left wondering where Cody is. (And I'm dying to know who 'them' is as well). Fun read.

Mina Burrows said...

Okay, "They" or "Them"...*shivers" very suspenseful and creepy. Well done.

Stuart Nager said...

THEM: The Horrible Energy Monsters! I win the prize!! ;)

Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child

Alyssa said...

Oooh scary! That was really intense! I want to read more! Nice work :D

I'm #37

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you!

Jessica Salyer said...

Me too! Thanks.

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you.

Jessica Salyer said...

Thanks!

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you.

Jessica Salyer said...

Wow, thank you.

Jessica Salyer said...

A warning? :) thank you.

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you. I appreciate your advice. This was my first time writing flash fiction.

Jessica Salyer said...

Good question. Thank you.

YelenaC said...

Intense and to the point. Makes me want to know more about the story and the characters. Nicely done!

I'm #36.

Della said...

wow! i stumbled on your blog while surfing. and i love this short story. i have "liked" your blog through that link too. All the best :) i'll try to write one myself :D

Komal said...

I like the way you built up suspense. It makes me want to know what's going to happen to them next. Great job!

alexia said...

Creepy! I'm definitely curious.

Ashley Nixon said...

Creeepy.
Definitely would not be ripping that door open. Nope.

Charmaine Clancy said...

I was scared!
#83

Jessica Salyer said...

Hopefully not too scared. :)

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you!

Jessica Salyer said...

Thanks! Good luck. :)

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you.

Mark Noce said...

Great challenge:) I try to write one short-story as week, but I'm not too good at flash fiction. Cool blog:)

Rebekah Loper said...

Zombies!

Sorry, my husband just started watching the Walking Dead on Netflix. I think I see zombies everywhere now.

I'm stopping in from the Fantasy group at the Campaign. Good to meet you!

Sarah Pearson said...

Oh no! I think Cody is toast - as are the rest of them by the sound of it!

Miranda Hardy said...

Scary! I like that in a story. Yeah, pretty sure Cody didn't make it either.

Jessica Salyer said...

Good to meet you too. :) I've been wanting to check that show out. Any good?

Jessica Salyer said...

Thank you. This was my first time very writing a flash fiction piece. It was good practice.

Nick Wilford said...

Very tense! Liked it a lot and intrigued about Them.

Traci Kenworth said...

Good job!!

Humpty Dumpty said...

Love the suspense!

(Don't let the Humpty Dumpty name fool you. I'm Susan from My Withershins. For some reason Blogspot doesn't seem to like the Wordpress folk, making it hard for us to comment, so I'm using an old ID)

Jessica Salyer said...

Sorry. Is this a all blogspot problem or just my site? Is there something I can change? Thanks for stopping by.

Gwen said...

Great action!

#109

Carrie-Anne said...

Very action-packed and intense in only 200 words!

I'm #123.

Jessica Salyer said...

Thanks!

Amber Clites said...

Intense and suspenseful! I want to know more about the "Them", or maybe not *shivers*

Mine is #82

C.M.Brown said...

Good job, Jessica! What happens after she opens the door? I would really like to know!

Vicki Orians said...

This was really good! I'd love to read what happens!!! :)

Jessica Salyer said...

Thanks.