Saturday, August 27, 2011

A Dream Within a Dream

    One day, about four months ago, I was lying in bed. I was having a hard time falling asleep. Somewhere in the state between awareness and sleep I began to see a movie. Only, this was no movie I had ever seen on TV. While lying there, I saw a whole scene play out in front of me. As I drifted off to sleep, it played over and over, becoming more and more real. When I woke up the next morning, I remembered the whole thing.
    It was a scene in which a normal girl has an incident that changes her whole life. The life she knew was over and she has to become something else. This scene completely consumed me for weeks. It was all I could think about. Repeating over and over, expanding and gaining a life of its own. I began to write it down to get it out of my head. Here it was, that scene, the first chapter of my book.
    Just following a dream, has two meanings for me. One, like I said in my first blog, it has always been a dream of mine to write a book, and two, the book began in a dream. I have read a lot of interviews of authors and a lot of them say their ideas have come to them in dreams. Is this when our creativity is the most open? When our minds are the most open? When we don't have the doubting and rationality to stop the imagination we had as children. When we can make up a world of our own, where anything can exist or happen that we want to. I find when I am having trouble knowing where my characters or the story is going, I lay in bed and let my mind wander and it usually comes to me.
    When we become older do we lose the part of us to "daydream" and just believe in miracles? Life is so serious when you get older, with responsibilities and duties, it doesn't leave a lot of room for frivilty. I have found that in my dreams. My book has become a cathartic release. Making me feel a hope and excitement that I haven't felt for a long time. I have never been a real creative person, or maybe I have, but just never channeled it till now. It's an exhilarating and scary feeling at the same time. Teaching me that it's never to late to go after your dreams.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My first blog ever

   So, I am sitting down to write my first blog and I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I want it to be witty, captivating, and funny. (Even though I'm not that funny in person.) I begin to really start stressing out about it. I can't think of a single thing to write. Starring at the blank page until my eyes go blurry. Finally, I say forget it. (Not really forget, a different word but you get the picture) It can be anything I want it to be or say anything I want it to say....because, it's MY blog.
   Who am I? My name is Jessica and for over the past 10 years I have been a nurse. When I'm not being a nurse, I am a mom to three beautiful children and wife to my wonderful husband.  In my spare time I LOVE to read. I can't even tell you how many books I have read in my lifetime, a lot. When I was in high school I got yelled at for reading in class. My kids still get mad at me 'cause I 'm reading when they are trying to tell me something.
     I have always had a dream of some day writing a novel. Then I could decide how it went, who lived and died, who fell in love with who, etc. When I was younger, I must have started about 50 of them, never getting past the first chapter. Never believing for one second that I could actually do it. Well, now I am.
    I decided to jump off the deep end and go after my dream. In the end it may never be published and only a handful of people may read it, but I'll have done it for me. I decided to blog about my adventure here. So, come along with me as I am just following a dream.